My apology

Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m sorry that I’ve left you so long without as much as a peep. But like Michael Sterling said “I was gone but baby I’m back” and now that this 6 month training period is over and I will hopefully be down to working about 40-50 hours a week instead of the 60-70 hours that I’ve been working lately. Damn Corporate America (but not really, since they afford me the opportunity to do the things I like with their paychecks). The funny thing about this post is that many of the people that should be reading this won’t be reading this. But this is more for my peace than theirs. Today’s topic is just going to be a reflection on some of the wrongs I’ve done and the folks I’ve done wrong.

As I’ve sat and reflected on some of the relationships I’ve had in the past couple of years, I realized that I know I was wrong, LOL, but that’s all a part of growing and getting to know yourself. A lot of women say there aren’t any good men, and men say the same thing about women. I guess I’ve been looking in different places than they have these past few years, because I have found some good women. What I had to realize is that these were good women and for some guy they are going to be “Mrs. Right”; but for me, they were only suitable to be “Ms. Right Now”, only holding a temporary place in my life. Apology #1, Ladies I’m sorry that I couldn’t give you the commitment that you had hoped for at that time.

It’s funny that one of the girls I had recently dated, told me that I was what she would call, “emotionally congested”. What she was referring to was my inability to emotionally express myself and make a connection beyond the first layer of emotions. Hell, maybe I’ve just been emotionally drained for so long, that when I finally had enough in reserve to give, I just couldn’t or wasn’t comfortable doing it. Apology #2, Ladies I’m sorry that I couldn’t give you the emotions that you had hoped for at that time.

And since 3 is a completion, let me make my 3^rd and final apology. Apology #3, Ladies I’m sorry that I couldn’t give you the more (of whatever else) that you had hoped for.

Do you remember Pt. I

Alright ladies and gentlemen, this is going to be the beginning of a series of first times and my recollection of them. Hopefully a couple of you will be able to add some nice memories for me others to think about, lol.

So my first DO YOU REMEMBER is about do you remember the first time you found out that one of your friends was having sex? I still remember the first time I found out that one of my friends was having sex. The crazy thing is that I found this out when I was in 7^th grade. Mind you he was in 7^th grade too. And then I found out that he was having sex on a regular basis, skipping school to have sex and just going for broke on the punany. I mean this concept completely blew my mind; it was my first year in public school after spending pre-k through 6^th grade in private schools which is where another do you remember will come from. So anyways back to the story at hand, talking about how mind blowing it was to have someone you know having sex. Hell, at that point I don’t think I had ever had a real girlfriend, hadn’t kissed a girl, hadn’t held a held, but here I was facing the fact that I had come face to face with a sexually active 7^th grader. Not an experimental kind of thing but a steady and regular thing. I mean it was around that time when Real Sex was on like episode 200 so I wasn’t new to sex, but it was still and “adult” thing for me.

Shoot, I felt like I must’ve been a late bloomer or something, I guess I assumed that everyone else was having sex too. I soon came to realize that there were a few people having sex, not a lot and that I wasn’t a late bloomer, just that my friend was an early bloomer. But shoot, I’m sure that I did a little bit of catching up once I did bloom, I had my own punany killing sessions J Well maybe that was TMI for some of y’all, but for the rest of y’all, y’all know I ain’t got no good sense but I keeps it real. But until next time ladies and gentlemen . . . . . . .

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TALK TO ME (my new ending, you’ll grow to love it, lol)

*classic* So hard to say goodbye

Originally Posted ??? (I forgot so sue me, lol)

 

I’m just thinking about how hard it is to say goodbye or that it’s over. I am noticing that I have had a less than lack luster performance in breaking up with girls even when I know it’s over and I think we can both see the end in sight, I rarely step up to the plate and just say “I think we have run our course and it’s a best decision for us to part ways and let life take its course”. This was recently reminded of me when I had the choice of either dragging out a relationship and hoping that it gets better or going ahead and making a decision that the best times have been reached.

It’s hard when you’re feeling before time that you’ve made the best decision for yourself and for that person, since you’re trying to spare any more feelings from being developed and being hurt by drawing it out. But leaving someone that has been a part of your life for so long is never an easy thing, it comes with the loss of some of your own emotions, the feeling that something is missing in your life that has been there for an extended period and even if it’s before a complete fall out, there is that chance that there are still feelings and the chance that you still don’t want them being with anyone else.

50 cent said it best, “Death gotta be easy, cause life is hard” and truer words were never spoken. And love, relationships and many other things often make it much harder than it has to be.

Chivalry isn’t dead . . . . . . .

The chick in line before you just used it all up before you got here. I think that there is a big misconception that men aren’t chivalrous anymore and they need to bring it back. Well I’m here to tell you, men are still chivalrous, but the actions of your predecessors just might be preventing that man from practicing the good manners and chivalrous acts that were instilled upon him by his parents or whomever. You probably just came along at the wrong time. Cause if you come along after a chick that has no appreciation for the things that the guy has done, opening doors, holding doors and all that other gentlemanly sh!t then all of his chivalrous energy has been expended and since she didn’t appreciate his efforts then he sees no need to replenish that energy or the value of expending any further energy. Ladies I’m telling you, a thank you goes a long way. Let that man know you appreciate the sh!t he’s doing, cause he could damn just unlock the doors and go straight to his door and not open the door for you, he doesn’t HAVE to open the door for you, it’s an election. If it’s raining outside and that man holds his jacket over you so you don’t get your perm wet and runs you to the car and stands out in the rain while you take your time getting in the car and he’s getting soaked, damnit say thank you and offer to take a hot shower with him so he don’t catch pneumonia. You just might re-ignite his love for being chivalrous and reap those rewards OR you could just continue on the same continuum as your predecessor and possibly ruin all future chances of that man ever being chivalrous. So ladies, if you take nothing else from this post, take this away, “SAYING THANK YOU GOES A LONG WAY” and your parents should have already instilled that in YOU.

Smacking . . . . . one of the bains of my existence

I would love to touch on the topic of folks smacking when they eat or chew gum. To me it is one of the worst habits ever. I don’t even think people understand how annoying it is for someone to be sitting next to or across from them as they smack away, as if chewing with their mouth closed is going to dampen the taste on the food. All of those folks out there that don’t smack and have friends that do, I know you are feeling me right now, we are >>>> HERE <<<< LOL. There’s 1 smacker in every group of 5 people (of course these are my own statistics, but this is my blog so I will staticize as I damn well please, and yes, I did say staticize, lol). So if you think of you and 4 more friends and you can’t think of any of them smacking while they eat, then YOU are probably the smacker. Here are just a few ways to tell if you’re that person:

1. Your friends don’t invite you to over to eat as often as their other friends.
2. When you eat around your friends, they make faces as if someone is running fingernails across a chalk board.
3. Everyone at the table starts talking louder when you start eating.

If any of these sound familiar, just think on it. I’m sure there are much more that could be added to that list, but I just wanted to give you a few examples, not the whole book. So my advice is, don’t be that person, learn to chew with your mouth closed, trust me, your friends will love you more and they will probably invite you over for dinner more often or even out to eat. Hell you might even get more 2^nd dates out of it. And you’re welcome for this little bit of information, cause now you can take this information to heart or you can kindly navigate someone towards this post, lol.

*classic* The sweet smell of “swagger”

Originally Posted – August 24, 2005

 

This has to be one of my favorite personal theories. My theory of “swagger” is that “swagger” is a pheromone that attracts the opposite sex. To describe it, when you have the “swagger” the opposite sex is more apt to approach you and want to be near you and just down right desire you more than they normally would or have. It is also attributed to a certain aura of confidence which undoubtedly is a pheromone in itself. When you feel that you are the top of the line and that there is none better, the “swagger” is damn near oozing from your pores and other people can sense it. They look your way just a little bit longer, they extend their conversations with you just a little longer, hoping that some of your “swagger” will rub off on them. The way that this applies to the opposite sex is that when you have “swagger” and the opposite sex begins to notice, their pheromones begin to mix with yours and the creates a whole different type of “swagger”, cause we all know, a lot of people want what they can’t have. Though they may not know they can’t have you, it’s something about your “NEW swagger” that has them intrigued. Right now my “swagger” is flowing, I don’t know about anyone else, but business is damn good, lol. My advice to everyone reading this post is that you need to get you some “swagger” and once you have your “swagger” sit back and take notice of the NEW things which will be going on around you and coming your way. Welcome to the highest of the high!!!

Don’t be kicking my shoe

Ok, I know this post is a few months late, but it wasn’t really relevant to me until as of late.  For those of you who are unfamiliar with a Senator Larry Craig, he was the US Senator that was accused of trying to solicit sex in the men’s bathroom by kicking the shoe of the man sitting in the stall next to him who happened to be an undercover cop doing a sting.  So this big hoopla was made and he consistently has said “I am not gay”.  The way that this applies to me now is that as a frequent traveler due to the duties of my job, I spend a lot of time in the airport.  And my internal man law monitor will not allow me to stand next to another man at the urinals, even when there is that little wall there or even get in the stall next to a dude.  Just for the simple fact, that sh!t is gay.  It’s an unwritten man law that there has to be at least one empty space in between you and the next man.  I think some people’s internal monitors are broken and they need to go in and get serviced.  Cause I know when I’m on the end of a row with like 5 empty stations and someone comes and stands in the one next to me.  The first thought that goes through my head is “dude you’re gay”.  But thanks to the Boondocks, I now hear Riley Freeman saying “n!gg@ you gay” and I have to catch myself from laughing, but that makes him no less homo for violating man law.  Now back to Senator Craig, not only did you sit in a stall next to where another man was using the restroom, but you kicked his shoe, completely violating his space which would only have been acceptable if you were asking for toilet paper, but had you not violated the first man law it wouldn’t have been anyone on either side of you and you woulda been assed out anyways, so don’t kick his shoe regardless.  So to Senator Larry Craig, Riley Freeman would like to say “n!gg@ you gay”.  And I’m out this b!tch, LOL

Allow me to re-introduce myself . . .

My name is Hov! Wait, that isn’t what I wanted to say. But really, allow me to introduce myself. To some of you this will be my introduction, and to many others it will be my return. I am your narrator for the blog now known as “The Myth of a Man” and I will from this point go by the moniker Verbal Hydra. Why Verbal Hydra you may ask, but simply put, I have always been interested in Greek mythology. The Hydra was a mythical beast with 7 heads and I relate this to me as my many different facets and personalities, which you will undoubtedly see throughout the development of this blog. As I have been blogging off and on for approximately 3 years now, I will occasionally be bringing back some of my old posts which I found interesting, entertaining and insightful on some occasions. You’ll know these posts because I will begin them with *Classic* in the title, just so that they will stand out and you can see where I’ve been and maybe where I’m going. I hope the old readers will enjoy them as much as the new readers as well. But now that I have introduced myself, I would like to welcome you to my stories and my life. Don’t be scared to comment, it’s all in love.